Mothering Advice from a Friend

Everyday we have ups and downs with our kids. Everyday I have to remind myself that the most important job I have is the job of being a mom. I want to be more patient, understanding and loving. Hopefully, my boys know that I am trying to be the best mom I can be. Some days I feel like I "blew it". The key , I think, is to keep trying each day to be the sort of nurturing mother my kids deserve. A good friend sent me this advice on mothering today. She has three boys~ranging in age from 17 to 21.

"Savor every moment, embrace their individuality and keep an open mind as they grow and experience life on their own terms! I've learned through them that struggles and independence really do make them stronger and better equipped as men! God has truly blessed me with 3 great sons but with very unique and drastically different personalities. At the core of each boy is a sweet, loving and intelligent soul. I am so thankful for each one." Thanks Dawn-I needed to hear that today.

Pray for your kids. Pray with your kids. Help them grow into independent strong people. Love them unconditionally-and let them love you. Show them in little ways you care and never give up on them or your self.

Goodbyes

What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we deeply love becomes a part of us. ~Helen Keller

Eight summers ago, my wonderful father left this world. Although I can no longer eat a Dove ice cream bar(with almonds) with him, or laugh with him at something funny one of the boys said; he is still a part of my life. I think about him almost daily. then there are some days it just hits me. The "he really isn't gonna come walking in the door,is he" feeling. Today is one of those days. Maybe because I was reminded yesterday how precious life is. How quickly it can be taken away. How we have very little control over the when, the wheres, the hows. Hopefully, when my times comes, I will be surrounded by people I love. My friend Celeste was. She passed away peacefully yesterday with her husband and parents beside her. Celeste was an amazing young woman...today would have been her 40th birthday. I wish we had stayed in touch. From what I have learned from our mutual friend, Laura, she was a wonderful attorney , a loving wife and a great friend to many. She was the kind of person you were lucky to have on your side. Someone who went out of their way to help others. Many will miss her~ she will be a part of us now~and we are better for knowing her.

I know my dad lives on in me, in my brothers, our kids. My younger brother sometimes makes faces that look just like my dad. It is comforting yet breaks my heart a little. As much as I long for him to walk in the door, I do know that I will see him again one day. Until then, I am going to try to live my life in a way that would make him smile. I am going to love these wild children of mine and cherish each day I am given. Growing older with my family is a gift to be appreciated. Goodbye Celeste, if you see my daddy today-tell him it is your birthday-I bet he gives you a Dove bar.

Stay Home Mommy

When someone asks me what I do, I tell them I stay home with my children and I'm not in the least ashamed or embarrassed. I have learned that most people who don't think much of stay-at-home moms (SAHM) don't know what's involved and how much a family benefits and appreciates what we do. My children are only young once; I can get job later. Sometimes when I tell people that I am a SAHM,they say "Oh, so you have no education?" (I have a BS degree and social work experience), or "No skills, huh?" (I used to write million-dollar grants and teach special ed). I am comfortable with my answers, but a lot of other people are not. They think my education is going to waste. I answer those people with "I'm raising my children, and teaching them. What better use of my skills?"  I do realize that this is a personal choice and everyone has to decide what is best for their family.  If you do place your child in daycare-please stop by unanounced several times before placeing your child.  And PLEASE trust your gut if something feels wrong.  If you are able to afford a nanny, or someone who only watches 1or 2 kids, that isthe way to go.  The smaller the ratio-the more one on one attention your baby will get.

I know that my baby Logan will only be little a painfully short time and I want to be the one showing him the world.  The bond we have is not for sale at any price.  So am I angry or resentful? No, just sad that some people dont realize that in a time like this-Mommy does know best.